The mauve aardvark writes succulently, lightly

Today's blog entry title is courtesy of The Reg's spam poetry compendium, which sometimes makes me think I picked too generic of a name for my blog. "The Mauve Aardvark" - a missed opportunity. It would be a persistent reminder to write succulently, lightly. I think you'd all agree I need that.

I'd also love to publish under this spam-engine-generated gem noted in the same article, translucent gibbon rucksack bonanza. It has so many of my favorite words, even if it is a bit long for a blog name.

These days, it doesn't take a spam engine. There are now enough monkeys at enough typewriters to stock the shelves of Jorge Luis Borges' whole Library of Babel. Until the posting was deleted from a forum on Craig's List (one that I can only describe as "not very family-friendly in prose style") you could read something niftily entitled:

Treat Berger the same way Fawn Hall was teated - equal justice

And how was Fawn Hall teated? Well, I still have embarrassing dreams about being Ollie North, alone with her at the office late at night, cuddling up after a hard day's work of shredding purloined documents. Somebody should find out her bra size so that Sandy Berger can be sure that he becomes equally endowed under the law.

Sandy Berger might recommend his plastic surgeon to Pakistan's Pervez Musharraf - who has, after all, worn certain articles of apparel suggesting that he feels ill-favored by Allah in the thorax department, that he'd like to show some peek-a-boo lace to get a few hearts racing at the office. After all, we have reason to suspect that Berger could politically leverage Musharraf's lust for cleavage. Just read this OutlookIndia article. Silicone quid pro quo has already been mooted:

National Security Adviser Sandy Berger wondered about a trade in getting bin Laden in exchange for softer teatment of a relatively benign military regime. But the idea was never developed into a policy proposal.

For heaven's sake, why not? It's a great idea. Berger gets a C-cup, Musharraf a D-cup, we get bin Laden, Pakistan stops getting ragged on about its loose nukes. Who says you can't please everybody all the time?