It's all about sex, ba-bee

Is the U.S. presidential election about the economy? Is it about Iraq? Is Iraq the #1 issue? Is it the economy?

Well, maybe they can make it all about sex instead.

Until a few days ago, I had no idea of the backstory on Illinois Senate candidate Barack Obama, selected to give the Democratic convention's keynote address. What a politically brilliant move - it puts one spotlight on him, of course, but another on the alleged sexual misbehavior of his erstwhile GOP opponent, Jack Ryan, who has since bowed out of that race. Obama was a good choice for keynote anyway - he'll probably win (the GOP still hasn't replaced Ryan after about a month), he'll be the fifth black Senator in history and the only black man in the Senate.

The Noise Machine is hitting back with everything it can - which isn't much. The Washington Times has a story. "Obama hit for vote on sex assault bill" about Barack's vote against Illinois Senate Bill 485 that would have denied time off for good behavior for certain classes of sex crimes. Obama's was the lone vote to oppose. The bill became law on July 15, 1999.

What was the amendment to which Obama objected? According to Illinois SB485, it adds the following criteria for denying time off:

[...] and (4) a person who is convicted of criminal sexual assault under paragraph (a)(3) of Section 12-13 of the Criminal Code of 1961, criminal sexual abuse, or aggravated criminal sexual abuse

Let's start that section of the Illinois Criminal Code of 1961. And we're in trouble already.

You can theoretically be convicted of criminal sexual assault if you have ever been someone who matched this description:

commits an act of sexual penetration with a victim who was at least 13 years of age but under 18 years of age when the act was committed and the accused was 17 years of age or over and held a position of trust, authority or supervision in relation to the victim

and your "victim" won't testify that that she gave consent in full possession of her presumably adequate mental faculties.

Hm. You're a 17-year-old assistant manager at a Frosti Freez in deepest cornfield Illinois, having vaulted into management after your girlfriend, also an employee, and also 17, helped get you the job. She's so happy for you about your rapid promotion that you go out, party, and ... oops: you have sex. Several times that week, in fact. Not that you haven't done that before. But this time, you get caught.

Her parents - Biblical fundamentalists, unfortunately for you - discover a discarded condom on the floor of the car, confront your girlfriend, who defiantly admits it and gets sent off to Bible Camp for the summer. A combination of threats from her parents, brain-washing cajolery from the camp "counselors", and the inconvenient but undeniable fact that you've since taken up with a girlfriend who is better looking, more intelligent, and has been a bit snooty to her in high school, result in your former girlfriends unwillingness to admit her full-fledged consent to sexual penetration on the witness stand. And her parents file criminal charges against you. Gulp.

And what's the longest sentence you might be looking at? Well, let's say your girlfriend's diary contains accounts of having had sex with several times in your "position of trust, authority, or supervision," that her parents file multiple charges against you, and get at least one conviction. Then you're a repeat offender under this, about sentencing:

A second or subsequent conviction for a violation of paragraph (a)(3) or (a)(4) or under any similar statute of this State or any other state for any offense involving criminal sexual assault that is substantially equivalent to or more serious than the sexual assault prohibited under paragraph (a)(3) or (a)(4) is a Class X felony.

Other Class X felonies in this Code: shooting someone during the course of battery (minimum sentence 15 years), beating them savagely (minimum of 5 years).

It gets really bad if you smoked dope together on one of your dates, evidence for such consumption being found in the same car, and your brainwashed, intimidated girlfriend won't testify that she knew you were giving her marijuana to smoke, under the added threats to have her committed to juvenile hall for her drug use. Then you're looking at "aggravated criminal sexual assault." Years and years in the slammer. And no time off for good behavior.

Now let's go back to Jack Ryan. His wife stands by the allegations she made against him in their divorce trial. Contrary to the impression Ryan's statement leaves, suggesting an agreement with his wife to keep the divorce records sealed, his wife's motivations for sealing the records look different from his, or at least mixed: she was being stalked, and the judge prudently did not admit that this was why he kept the files sealed until after the stalker's conviction. "Child protection" for the son from this marriage was an ambiguous unified front. At best.

While Jack Ryan has denied his wife's allegations before, he's not denying them now. He's saying he didn't commit adultery (after all, encouraging your wife to commit adultery isn't quite the same thing.) He's saying that he broke no laws. He may well be right. We have her statement in court that he struck her, but also her later statement that he didn't abuse her.

The irony in all this: Jack Ryan may have himself come perilously close to being convicted under Illinois state law for criminal sexual assault on his wife. She didn't file any such charges, and he probably didn't step over that line, but ... I'm not sure I'd be against giving him time off for good behavior if he was looking at a six year stretch because he had. And maybe Barack Obama wouldn't have been against it either. At least, that's how it looks from the way he voted.

Democrats, Republicans, everybody - lend me your ears. Let's not make it All About Sex. Please. So far it doesn't look good. Seymour Hersh starts writing about Americans raping Iraqi boys in prison. As night follows day, Bush gives a speech about Fidel Castro the Jailbait Pimp Revolutionary. The Chicago Tribune goes after the "juicy details" of Jack Ryan's divorce - and they get them - and the Dems capitalize on it by putting Barack Obama in the keynote role. The Barack Obama Truth Squad (which seems to amount to the remnants of Ryan's intrusive monitors of Obama, back when they were trying to record his phone calls to family members and follow him into the mens room with video cameras) hits back with Obama's voting record. And don't even get me started about the gay marriage issue. That'll come back, count on it.

I really don't care, and I don't understand why so many Americans do. Let's leave the mud on the ground, where it belongs.